A few months ago I had a day that I would like to have started over at least ten times.

Do you ever have those days?

I sat down at least 3 different times to blog but no words came to mind, no fingers begin to type, no creativity flowed at all.

Of course that was only the start.

That was a day to go back to bed, pull the covers over my head and forget it ever existed.

I would have to say after the dog escaping from the house, running up and down the neighborhood, pleasantly enjoying me yelling as loud as I could, all while running faster away from me, I was done completely done with the day.

So as I stood outside in my housecoat, tears streaming down my face from frustration, I had to get my thoughts right before I had a complete meltdown.

As I went back inside, with no dog, deciding to take a nice long hot shower, a song came to me, “Beautiful Jesus”.

“Your love o God, displayed for us
As crimson covered over sinless hands
Your majesty for all to see
In raging storms and quiet cloudless days”

“Beautiful Jesus, beautiful Savior
Nothing is greater, brilliant creator
Friend of mine”

No matter if my days are chaos and hectic or quiet and calm, he is still my Beautiful Jesus, Perfect in Power. He is still the one I go to, to calm my mind, to fill me with peace and comfort.

What else was there to do then to go to him in the WORD. So for the reminder of the afternoon it was just me, my coffee and my Beautiful Jesus talking it out and being reminded that he is still God. He is the only one who can take away the overwhelming feelings that this world fills me with.

Just as Isaiah 41:10 reads,

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

I hadn’t thought much of that day until this past week. My husby and I had decided to take a huge step into risky waters, to go into a ministry that we felt God was leading our family to. Everything was stacking up just perfect. We felt God’s hand every step of the way, until last week.

I received a disturbing phone call from the organization we were planning to work with. Several years ago we had worked with the organization and during this time my family was wronged. Even though I cannot express details, all I can say is that my family was victimized. It has taken a lot of prayer and faith to let go with the feelings and emotions involved with that situation.

You might be saying, well why would you want to go back into that organization again? Well, I guess because God did not put any restrictions on our freedom or his love for us, and it is our responsible to do everything we can to reach every lost soul.

Back to the phone call, we know the devil can wiggle his way into every situation. And we know he uses normal people to do his dirty work. Even though my family was wronged, the person who wrote the report has tried to turn it around so my family looks like the bad guy, not the organization.

How wrong is that? Why have we had to relive painful memories when we were trying to do God’s work?

I believe there is a couple answers to that. First, the devil plays every game possible to try to detour God’s plan in your life. And the other is that God already has our life planned and maybe God is trying to prevent us from bring hurt worse in the future.

I also had another thought. What if God needed my family to relive the memories that was brought up to help us heal and move forward. Is he trying to see if we are strong enough to deal with situations that are to come.

As I sat and pondered this week, I came back to the memory of a few months ago. I had to chose not to let my emotions overwhelm me or I would be lost in the chaos of the dying world, and my light would turn dark. I cannot let the black hole of hurt affect what God has in front of me. I had to go back to the same scripture I read that day.

Isaiah 41:10

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

God will work it together for his good. He us still my God. He plan is greater than my plan. He can turn the negative into a positive.

So as I sit and type these words, I am renewed, refreshed and loved by my creator. I may not understand the path right now, I just have to trust and have faith and know his ways are always better than mine. That he is my protector, my provider, my Jesus!